averagefairy:

why do they even include 2014 as an option when selecting your birth year online like u fresh out the womb ready to join gmail

saxifraga-x-urbium:

malformalady:

A son went into a rarely-used bedroom in his mother’s home and discovered thousands of wasps had made a giant nest in a bed. An estimated 5,000 wasps had created a nest by chewing through bedding, including a blanket and pillow. Pest-control expert John Birkett was called to tackle with the mound of wasps inside the mattress at the five-bedroom home in Winchester, Hampshire.

amortizing:

third wheeling two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple

cocaineteas:

You gotta love dialogues in porn.

thepagejakeenglish:

CANT RISK IT

thepagejakeenglish:

CANT RISK IT

Guy on train: I'd fuck you if you didn't have so many tattoos.
Me: *turns up music*
Guy: I said I'd fuck you if you didn't have so many tattoos!
Me: *takes off headphones* Leave. Me. Alone.
Guy: Why the fuck do you have so many tattoos?
Me:
Guy: Are you fucking deaf as well as a piece of trash?
Lady by door: Hey. Leave her alone.
Guy: Are you her trash girlfriend? Fucking dykes, all tattooed like fucking men. Disgusting waste of pussy.
Lady: *moves forward, carefully moves jacket so only I can see the badge on her belt* Are you okay?
Me: Fine. Just wish he'd go away.
Lady cop: I can make that happen.
Guy: Oh, yeah, bitch? Who the fuck are you? I'll kill you!
Lady cop: And that's what I was waiting for. *grabs guy, holds him against the door* Harassing women on the train was enough, but you just threatened a cop. You're battin' a thousand tonight.
Entire train: *applauds*